moving on...

there's this song that keeps playing in my head. i haven't memorized the whole of it yet, but i'm putting the lyrics here.

The Scientist
by Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Im going back to the start

Call me a latebloomer, but I just came to appreciate Coldplay recently. I had the chance to watch this film called "Wicker Park" last sem break, and the song above was part of the movie's soundtrack. The song was played at the very crucial moment that the guy and the girl - who had been kept apart by 'selfish forces' for soooo... long - finally met once more. They, or at least the guy, had this intense longing to meet her again, especially since they had been separated in a very cruel way. Somehow when you watch the movie you see how hard it is to wait and wait and wait without any assurance from the one you're waiting for. I don't actually know if the guy waited for the girl. But even if not stated outright, you somehow knew that he was still longing for the girl who seemed to have vanished in thin air, and that he was still waiting for the day when they could meet and talk again.

But the reason why I'm posting this and pondering upon this movie and this song is because I've decided to go back to the start, that is to say, to move on to another blog. Ain't it weird that I had to rant about Coldplay and Wicker Park before getting to my point? But I think you should also go back to the start, that is, the title, and so we can laugh about this weird play of words. Haha! English majors rule! :P

And so, dear Reader, thank you for taking the time to read my memories, my rantings, my blunders, and loooonnnnnggggg lists. *wink wink* This shall not be a sad parting because it will be just be another leap toward something better (hopefully...) A very wise mentor of mine once wrote to me: "...and remember that it's not what happens to you, but inside of you." I don't know if anything has changed inside of me during the past two years, but I'm deciding (and convincing myself) that it's time to change. It's time to dislodge some stuff which aren't really nice. These days, I'm praying how to become nicer to people. I'm choosing my friends over myself... whew! Nasabi ko rin. That was difficult to say and admit. But I hope that you pray for me in this. You know how terrible I am at relationships. :P

And lastly, let me just paraphrase what the Wind-Listener told me when my emotional levels went high again and I couldn't stop myself from crying: "You just love others no matter how hard and painful it is. Jesus loved us without seeing what He could have had in return. If someone loves you back, then look at it as a reward." Thank you, Wind-Listener. I wish there were more people like you...even if you say that there'd be chaos if that were the case. You listen very well and you give wise advice. And you made me remember something very crucial, something I knew the moment I accepted Christ into my life, but which I occasionally forget: to be able to love is a reward in itself, because we wouldn't be able to love if God had not loved us first.


i'm coming back to the start...


~~~